A Pawn In A Man's Game

I'm taking an African Drama course this semester. Today we were talking about Ebrahim Hussein's Kinjeketile. If you're East African, you must know about Kinjeketile Ngwale, the guy who led the Majimaji rebellion against the Germans. So the play Kinjeketile  is pulled out from that guy.

Anyway, my lecturer and I begin to talk about rape in society. We talk about how soldiers rape women in Kenya - especially in those areas in which cattle rustling is prevalent - yet they go unpunished. We talk about the incident of Ngugi's wife being sexually assaulted during their previous visit in 2004. My lecturer argues that the assault was aimed at Ngugi and it was meant to humiliate and make him feel less of a man. I agree with him. The action was meant to hurt Ngugi and create a sense of helplessness, weakness and powerlessness.

He steers us back to the play. There is an episode where a female character is raped. The men silently watch her being carried away. They do not speak up. They do not fight for their daughter. They helplessly watch as one of their own is defiled. The mother of this character calls the men "women", stripping them of their masculinity. My lecturer argues that the rape scene is symbolic of the taking away the masculinity of a man. He argues that raping someone's woman messes up with the psychology of the man; it makes them feel less of a man. And that is the surest way of defiling a society; screw the woman.

He also mentioned something interesting. According to Freud, the male genitalia is the surest representation of the privileged sex and symbolizes the power that comes with it. Thus, men are always striving to become men, that is, to become powerful, just like their genitalia represents. Because of this power that men need to harness, women become important tools. They must be subdued. They must be controlled. They must be lesser beings. And if our enemy needs to be humiliated, defile and shame their women; leave them feeling helpless.

I feel like women have been pawns in men's power play, in their need to show who is stronger. I hate it. Is that all we are?

Christian

Choked. Tormented by the rituals, the small mindedness of us, the pretense.

Suffocating. Feeling the need to hold my breath. Fear. Someone might see the doubt crowding- creeping, crawling at my skin. A flood of whos and whys and whats. I smile.


Immense urge to escape. I no longer see God in me.

I'm reading on female circumcision today. It seems that the main reason it's practiced is to "purify" the woman and prevent her from being promiscuous. I think the creator(s) of this terrible thing were afraid. They saw a woman- beautiful, proud, confident. She was aware that she's a sexual being and liked, no loved, it. She wasn't sorry for her existence and this made those men uncomfortable. She intimidated them, made them pine for her. She never made excuses for who she was. This angered them.
And so they decided that they needed to bring this wonderful woman down to their level of inferiority and powerlessness. They decided that they needed to take something from her, to show her that she is nothing, to make her need them. And so they cut off her clitoris. When this did not silence her, they cut of her lips. But her head remained held high. And when they saw this, they sewed her vagina and left only a little hole (perhaps remembering that she was a tool for their pleasure).

They did all this out of fear. They couldn't handle a phenomenal woman.

Phenomenal Woman

BY MAYA ANGELOU

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. 

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them, 

They think I’m telling lies. 

I say, 

It’s in the reach of my arms, 

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman 

Phenomenally. 

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me. 

I walk into a room 

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man, 

The fellows stand or 

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me, 

A hive of honey bees.   

I say, 

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman 

Phenomenally. 

Phenomenal woman, 

That’s me. 

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me. 

They try so much 

But they can’t touch 

My inner mystery. 

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say, 

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile, 

The ride of my breasts, 

The grace of my style. 

I’m a woman 

Phenomenally. 

Phenomenal woman, 

That’s me. 

Now you understand 

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about 

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing, 

It ought to make you proud. 

I say, 

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman 

Phenomenally. 

Phenomenal woman, 

That’s me.

Maya Angelou, “Phenomenal Woman” from And Still I Rise. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Used by permission of Random House, Inc.

Thieving

You remember my dream about the man who was stealing my precious bag along a highway in the dead of night? I am living it everyday. I walk in a daze striving to hold on to my prize. You handed it to me, so precious, so full of promise. I was going to cherish and protect it. But with each step I take, I feel one hand on my throat sucking the breath out of me. The other slowly pries my little treasure from my grasp. I am scared. I am scared.

WAIT! 

IT'S MINE! HE GAVE IT TO ME!

But I can't shout it out. 

I don't because it's safer to have nothing to fight for, nothing to hold on to, nothing to be responsible for. 

It's safer to live in the silence of your dreams, building castles in clouds than on the solidity of chasing dreams, wrestling them down, and turning them into reality. 

I don't because I have knitted together a safety net, a substitute of the best. 

I can't. I don't. I won't.

Hands wrap themselves around my neck. I can no longer breath.

Help me.

The Year Of Vulnerability

I can already feel myself hating you. You who keeps coming to me with the same problem over and over. You who is not ashamed to fail over and over again and come back to me, every single time to tell me of your bad habits. I am beginning to hate you. You who is not like me.

I am angry. That I am sure about. What I do not know is whether I'm angry with you or myself. With for failing in the same pathetic way. With myself for lacking:

For lack of courage to fail ceaselessly like you do and still rise up.
For lack of empathy towards you.
For lack of happiness.
For lack of patience.
For lack of love.

For hating you.

It makes me hate me.


PS. This is not what I expected to write for my first blogpost of the year. Not very sunshine-y, but can we really control the Muse and its dictates? Happy New Year All.

A Tribute To The Cookin 'n' Cleanin Feminists

A friend of mine said that Virginia Woolf would grimace at what Kenyan women have reduced feminism to, that is, equality in the cooking and cleaning duty roster at home. The likes of Virginia Woolf and Ethel Smyth fought for economic, social and political equality that we women enjoy today and we shall forever be grateful. I, however, have been thinking about this new craze about- apparently its the fourth wave of- feminism. Yes, women can now vote, inherit property, become political leaders and hold the same jobs a man can. But are men and women truly equal? If they are, what are these fourth wave feminists fighting for or against?

In my opinion the fourth wave feminists are fighting against mindsets and culture. There are laws set up to alleviate the position of women yet they are not abided to, primarily because as a society, we are still stuck on the ideals that a man and woman cannot be placed on the same level economically and socially. Although women are being empowered, many of them are still urged to make themselves smaller or lesser than the men in their lives lest they bruise the egos of these men. Personally, as a 20 year old still trying to figure out what it means to be a woman, I know I have experienced this. I have worn false humility (or is it modesty?) so that I don't come out as too smart or too aggressive or so that I don't come off as an 'ajua' as my friends would say. Maybe what this fourth generation feminists are fighting for is a mentality in society in which every individual views men and women as having the same capabilities and being able to achieve the same things. Maybe they are fighting for people to view every individual as a human being first than at their gender. In this way, there will be true equality.

However, people may argue that men and women were created differently. Their wiring and structure definitely is different and therefore, may not be able to perform the same tasks with the same level of skill. This is true; men were designed to be more muscular than women; women were designed to be birthers; and how men think is completely different from the way women think. They even have a couple of different hormones, men and women. But I don't believe that the varied wiring and plumbing of women from men affects their ability to become great leaders, politicians, CEOs, inventors and every other job that has been traditionally left for men. I also don't think that because it is believed men have a tough time expressing emotions that they can't be great care givers.

The Kenyan feminists must also believe that men can be great care givers. Why would they fight so much for equal sharing of household chores? I don't understand why this shouldn't be a feminist fight. For our children to view men and women as equals, shouldn't they see their parents treating each other so? This means that the way spouses speak to and treat each other is important. Also, it is important to practically show children that no job is too small or big for them, by both parents taking part in household chores. Studies show that a child's worldview is formed in the first five years of their existence. Therefore, whatever is implied through the actions and words of a child's first caregivers is vital in teaching about gender roles and role allocation in society.

My friend is tired of all the Kenyan feminists out there. The more I think of feminism, the more I am convinced that there is a place for these women who have been silenced in ways different from the times of the first generation of feminists. So I guess this is for these feminists, fighting for social equality, fighting in your homes, at the office or wherever. We need more of you. Keep on.

Ebook Review: The Other Experiment

I have never written a review before so this will definitely not be a traditional review. But I really need to tell you about this ebook! First because I know the guy who wrote it and he's been asking (read begging) me to write about it so that he can become a slightly richer guy. And then, because you have to read this ebook.

Why? Because this book is about you. I know the author of the ebook may not know you or the story of your life. But he is human and he may know a thing or two about humanity that you can definitely relate to.  The reason that I believe that this novel is for you is at one point in your life you must felt left out, alienated from a group of people, be it because of your colour, gender, name, freakish tendencies or just because this group decided it didn't like you. So at one point in your life you have felt or been the other, an anomaly in a people or a group of people. And I believe this is what Ras Mengesha seeks to examine in his ebook. He says that The Other Experiment is an experimental "novel" that uses mixed media to "interrogate otherness" in our society. 

I believe at one point or another we have felt like the other in our society or we know someone who has been ostracized for being different. So we can all somehow relate to the contents of this ebook. Then again, we can question our society and our personal prejudices against the Other. And hopefully we can seek ways to change what we don't like to see in our society. We can stop being silent about the atrocities that take place to the Other. The Other Experiment, has the power to change how we see our world and motivate us to make it a better place. 

So I would definitely advice to get a copy of this ebook. It's very affordable, just 200 shillings! Trust me, it will be the best 200 bob you will spend this month. 

If interested in buying the ebook and/or reading Ras Mengesha's work, check out Ras Mengesha's blog: https://rasmengesha.wordpress.com/ and for the ebook: https://rasmengesha.wordpress.com/the-other-experiment-3/

Enjoy!